Thoughts: 30 Days of Night

So after a long and stressful week I wanted something fun but quiet to occupy my Friday night. I figured, I'm feeling a little icky, what better to make me feel better than Josh Hartnett and vampires? Right?

Wrong. Now yeah, that was what one might call a MISTAKE.

It sucks when a movie looks so fun and turns out to be so terrible. The trailers for 30 Days still look good to me, even after I've watched it. It's the same as it was with Spiderman 3. The trailers look great, the movie falls way short. At least with 30 Days the craptacularness that was the movie didn't ruin a trilogy. I'm still disappointed by how bad Spiderman 3 turned out to be...

Even cool posters couldn't save Spiderman 3

Anyway. 30 Days of Night. Terrible. But worse. Boring. I mean, really? How do manage to make a movie about vampires unleashing a bloodbath upon an unsuspecting town boring? That's not an easy task. But 30 Days succeeds. I really almost walked out. Several times. And even though i stayed, I kept checking my watch. It just dragged on and on and on.

It's just really bad. The acting is hideous. The characters are dumb. The gore is really, really disappointing. I may not go to a movie like this for the acting or the plot or the writing. But I do go for the gore. And when the gore and even the action fail to live up to potential. Well. You've just got nothing.

Even my love for Josh Hartnett couldn't save this movie for me. He may be pretty to look at but pretty isn't always enough.

Ben Foster is adorable. Although the black teeth are a little gross.

Of course. I must say, Ben Foster is quickly becoming one of my new favorites. For the small role he played, he is entertaining.

I definitely do not recommend 30 Days of Night. What a waste.

The movie may not have been scary but this dude was definitely creepy.

Review: Entrails of a Beautiful Woman

Originally posted at Epinions



If you’ve read some of my earlier reviews (like my horror movie top ten list or my Zombie movie list) then you may know that I’m huge fan of horror and gore and the ridiculous. This usually leads me to titles like the ones you’ll find on those lists, a variety of films from all different countries, all falling under the category of Horror. Gore, blood, violence, death and mayhem. I love it.

Of course, on my search for more gore, on my quest to find that perfect fountain of blood, I’ve unfortunately encountered films that are little too much even for me. For example, I do not like the rape/revenge sub-genre. While I can enjoy something like Takashi Miike’s Ichi the Killer or Visitor Q, I’m completely turned off by Wes Craven’s Last House on the Left.

Which leads me to director Gaira. My first encounter with him came about in a little video store in Atlanta, GA. A friend and I were perusing the foreign horror section, this store had an absurdly impressive selection, and we came across this bizarre looking VHS titled Entrails of a Virgin. Well. Knowing absolutely nothing about Gaira (yes, he goes by one name. His full name is something like Kazuo Komizu) my friend and I decided that Entrails of a Virgin combined with a bottle of Riesling were just what the evening needed.

Not so much. We ended up hitting the fast forward button a lot…

So Entrails of a Virgin was a bit of a bust for us. There were some all right parts but mostly, a little too much with the soft-core porn for our tastes.

Why then did I decide to add Entrails of a Beautiful Woman to my Netflix queue? I have no idea. I guess I never learn.

Entrails of a Beautiful Woman is a sort of sequel to Entrails of a Virgin. There are actually three movies in the series; I believe the third is called Naked Blood (that one I WON’T be watching). The plot doesn’t really follow the plot of the first movie at all. Really they have nothing to do with each other beyond the titles. And the director. And weird monsters who like to do horrible, perverse things to people. And have really disturbing bits of anatomy.

Beautiful Woman begins in a factory where a Yakuza gang is holding a young girl captive. After being gang raped and drugged up, the girl escapes and finds her way to a female doctor. The girl tells the doctor who has attacked her and then swan dives off of the roof. The doctor tracks down the Yakuza members, there’s a bit of revenge, more rape, drugs, and then… a giant gooey monster? And possibly the most disturbing Alien reference I’ve ever seen.

Beautiful Woman is advertised as being about this monster. It’s not really. The monster shows up maybe fifteen minutes before the end of the movie. Up until that happens Beautiful Woman actually does have a real plot. That plot just happens to be an excuse to make a soft-core snuff film.

Why did I forget to hit the fast forward button??

There’s really nothing redeeming about Entrails of a Beautiful Woman. If you like this particular sub-genre you might want to check it out. Or if you’re hugely curious about the gooey entrails monster. Did I mention the monster is also a transforming transvestite? Don’t ask me how that one comes about. It’s really silly.

Beyond that though. I don’t even recommend watching it for the sake of completion. Mostly it’s just long and boring with a mediocre plot and soft-core sex. I know, talking about sex is probably just going to encourage a lot people. Geez, just download some porn. You don’t need to watch this movie.

There’s not even a point in talking about the direction or acting or anything else. That’s not what this movie is about. It’s about putting beautiful women in demeaning situations designed to excite the audience and then throwing in a few gross out moments to make people go “Ew.”

I just have to note here, that when I say go “Ew,” what I mean is this: it had me squeeing rather loudly. Saying things like “Holy S***”, “What the F*…”, “They are not…”, “EEEEEEEWWW”. My roommate and her boyfriend, who were in the other room with the door closed, were very amused.

Those “Ew” moments are effective, I’m forced to admit, but not worth the time it takes to get to them. So if you’re really curious and I can’t discourage you, hit it up on Netflix and keep your remote in hand. I recommend the x8 button at least.

The DVD actually does include an interview with Gaira, which was interesting for about five minutes before I got really bored by his self-congratulatory pretentious monologue. That had nothing to with Entrails of a Beautiful Woman.

At least at that point I had the presence of mind to hit stop.

Bijo no harawata
Entrails of a Beautiful Woman
1986
68 min
Japanese with English Subtitles

Review: Eastern Promises

Cross posted at Epinions.
On the surface Eastern Promises is a story about Midwife Anna (Naomi Watts), the dead Russian girl Tatiana (Sarah-Jeanne Labrosse, voice over by Tatiana Maslany), Russian mobster Kirill (Vincent Cassel), and his mysterious driver Nikolai (Viggo Mortensen). Tatiana is brought to Anna’s ward hemorrhaging, her baby in distress. Anna look’s into the girl’s purse to find identification and instead finds a small diary. As the infant Christine is gently brought to life, Tatiana slips away from it. In an effort to locate Tatiana’s family, Anna takes the diary to her Russian uncle for translation. She also ventures into a Russian restaurant whose business card was tucked away in the diary.

Sometimes the secrets of the dead are best buried with them.

Through Anna’s efforts to translate Tatiana’s diary, two worlds that were never meant to meet collide. Middle class, normal, London is exposed to the dark corruption of the Russian mob, the Vory V Zekone.

Anna who was never meant to meet Nikolai, never meant to know what secrets are hidden behind some doors, is exposed to a dangerous desire. Exactly what it is that Anna desires however is not a simple thing. This is not a simple answer of lust. Is it a desire for Nikolai, a man who exudes sexuality impossible for any woman to ignore (including the ones sitting in the theater)? Is it a maternal desire to protect the baby Christine?

It is a desire for all of the things Anna has longed for, the things that have remained just out of reach, the things that have slipped painfully through her fingers. Anna’s wide green eyes betray all of her thoughts, she is vulnerable yet strong, passionate, and every feeling she has is there in her eyes for Nikolai to see.

By contrast, who is Nikolai? Where has he come from? What is he trying to accomplish? Whose side is he on? Some of those questions are answered, some never are. While Anna keeps no secrets, secrets are all Nikolai has. The plot may not hold many surprises, there are many developments that are easy to see coming, but the story is layered and thick. While we are given one answer, supplied certain information, there are other more subtle points that remain ambiguous. We may eventually learn what exactly Nikolai’s goal is, but he still keeps his soul hidden from us. We are let in only so much.

Eastern Promises is on the surface a violent crime thriller about the Russian mob in London. However, like the currents of the Thames, Eastern Promises reveals secrets that were never meant to stay hidden. Nikolai hides a body in the river; David Cronenberg hides more behind the blood.

This is a film for adults. There is violence, there is blood, there is sex, there are drugs. These things are not there to exploit, they are not there to titillate. David Cronenberg has created a film for a mature audience who can watch a violent fight between three men in a bathhouse and see that there is a point for the inclusion Mortenson’s naked body. Cronenberg has never been afraid of the elements that offend, has never shied away from the things that make us uncomfortable. He instead embraces them. If something creates such a passionate response in an audience, if an exposed breast or a slit throat catches people’s notice, then their use can have a powerful effect.

Cronenberg has often explored the relationship between the media and sex and violence. Until recently, he has existed on the fringes of the mainstream. He was more of a cult figure. With the success of A History of Violence and his collaboration with Viggo Mortenson, Cronenberg has come fully into the mainstream of filmmaking. Whether the mainstream is ready to fully accept him… that I cannot tell you. I’m personally pleased to see films that are created for the intelligent, thinking, adult audience.

Why is Eastern Promises such a great film? It is because of the violence. It is because of the depth. It is also because of David Cronenberg’s complete awareness of his medium and the talent that he works with. Cronenberg's direction and Viggo Mortensen and Naomi Watts's performances are combined with Steve Knight's script, Peter Suschitzky's cinematography, and Howard Shore's score. From the story telling to the cinematography to the score, every element of Eastern Promises relates to the others. They all compliment when they need to compliment and contrast when contrast is needed. Light is juxtaposed with dark, quiet with noise, passion with passion, love with duty. Eastern Promises is about family, it is about destruction and rebirth, it is about the violence of death and how that violence can give way to new life.

Eastern Promises is a film that, if we want, we can sit back and process as we would any other movie. We can watch the images, see the surface, and go home satisfied. Eastern Promises is also a film that we can read. We can actually see what is on the screen in front of us; actually hear what the characters are saying. Cronenberg gives us a film that means something and invites us to discover what that meaning is.

There is an idea. There is passion. There is art.

Production: Having A Life

Or not having one, as the case may be. That's one of the things about this lifestyle, it can be so incredibly hard to balance life. Sometimes it's all work, sometimes it's all play. I feel like I haven't had a life outside of work in the last two months. Which I know that I have had a choice, there have been plenty of nights where people have asked me to do things. It's just that after working a fourteen hour day, going out for drinks with the ADs (Assistant Directors) is the last thing I want to do.

Sometimes though, life outside of work cannot be ignored. This last little bit has been almost completely about my non-professional life. Specifically, moving. That's right. Last weekend I moved from my apartment in Burbank to a little house down near the Marina.

Which brings us back to balance. In some ways this move doesn't make much sense in terms of work. While my apartment in Burbank wasn't convenient for much other than Warner Brothers or Universal, a lot of work happens on that side of the hill. Almost nothing goes on in the Marina. It is great if you're working in Culver City, at Culver Studios or Sony. I personally also think it's easier for anything on this side of the hill but that possibly is only personal opinion.

As much as we like to think so, life is not all about work. The balance here is finding a place where I want to live, where I will enjoy the little free time I have, where I won't go insane between jobs. Where I can bike to the beach... If you're going to live in California you may as well live by the beach, right? Right.