Production: Climbing the Fence

First I must apologize for the lack of posts over the last week or so. As happens, when I'm working I just don't always have the time or energy for things like this blog. And in the case of last week, there were several things going on that made posting not happen.

That being said, on to a story. I love the stories that I have to share. Production work leads to some wacky, ridiculous situations that even those outside the production world can enjoy. Here's one of them.

I know I've mentioned several times that runs are a big part of my job as a PA. We go on a lot of runs for a lot of different things and the ones that I hate the most are the deliveries to people's homes. Finding residences is always a pain in the ass. Navigating neighborhoods, finding apartments, parking, it just takes forever and it's so incredibly easy to get lost. Plus half the time people live out in the middle of nowhere. As an APOC I worked with once put it, I don't want to drive to f*in Cartegena.

This particular run was a script delivery (we had revised script pages for the following day) to an actor's home. This particular actor happened to be out that evening at an Emmy dinner so the plan was to leave the envelope with the new pages at his door. He would get them whenever he got home and be able to prepare for the following day.

Good plan. Except.

I arrive at his apartment complex around 8 pm on a Saturday night. It's a completely gated complex. There is no guard, there are just lots of gates. And they are all locked.

Great.

My first thought is, well, maybe there's some sort of lobby area with mailboxes and I
could leave it there. I walk all around the complex. No luck. There's nothing.

My second thought is, well, maybe someone will come home and I can sneak through behind them. About five minutes go by and someone does indeed return home. I oh-so-stealthily walk up behind their car and get into the driveway area. However, the very clever designers of this particular complexforesaw the possibility of this sneakiness. The driveway area was completely separated from the rest of the complex. It got me to people's garages but nothing else.

I briefly contemplated climbing up the fire escape on the roof. But where would that have really gotten me? Other than on someone's roof...

Defeated, I left the driveway area and made my way back to the pedestrian gate. After staring at the gate hopelessly for around ten minutes, seconds away from admitting defeat and calling my boss, thought three occurred to me.

My third thought is, well, I could totally climb that fence.

Other than one jean ripping incident as a kid I've always been a pretty good fence climber.

Keys and cell phone safely secured in pockets, script clutched firmly in hand, I begin my ascent. It was actually a pretty easy fence and I made it to the half way point pretty quickly.

But of course this story can't end that easily. Before I start to climb over the top, I hear footsteps. Someone is approaching. Now that is exactly what I need. To be arrested for breaking and entering while trying to just deliver these stupid script pages.

I quickly climb down and hope that whoever it is that is approaching has maybe not seen me and that if they have that they are, pretty please, not a cop (I really didn't want to deal with even just a rent-a-cop. Not on my Saturday night!).

Through the shrubbery I see a little grey haired head making it's way towards me. It doesn't turn, it doesn't even pause, it just comes straight at the gate.

This guy is either leaving or he's definitely witnessed my fence climbing antics. With my luck I'm guessing he's seen me.

He walks up to the gate and stops. In an incredibly thick Russian accent he asks, "Oh, is the gate not working?"

Really?

"Um, actually, I'm just trying to make a delivery and the person I'm seeing isn't home."

"Oh, Okay, I can let you in."

And with that he opens the gate. And walks on his merry way.

I waste no time in delivering my script pages and getting out of there. It is a Saturday night after all. And at 9pm, the night is not over yet.