Review: Entrails of a Beautiful Woman

Originally posted at Epinions



If you’ve read some of my earlier reviews (like my horror movie top ten list or my Zombie movie list) then you may know that I’m huge fan of horror and gore and the ridiculous. This usually leads me to titles like the ones you’ll find on those lists, a variety of films from all different countries, all falling under the category of Horror. Gore, blood, violence, death and mayhem. I love it.

Of course, on my search for more gore, on my quest to find that perfect fountain of blood, I’ve unfortunately encountered films that are little too much even for me. For example, I do not like the rape/revenge sub-genre. While I can enjoy something like Takashi Miike’s Ichi the Killer or Visitor Q, I’m completely turned off by Wes Craven’s Last House on the Left.

Which leads me to director Gaira. My first encounter with him came about in a little video store in Atlanta, GA. A friend and I were perusing the foreign horror section, this store had an absurdly impressive selection, and we came across this bizarre looking VHS titled Entrails of a Virgin. Well. Knowing absolutely nothing about Gaira (yes, he goes by one name. His full name is something like Kazuo Komizu) my friend and I decided that Entrails of a Virgin combined with a bottle of Riesling were just what the evening needed.

Not so much. We ended up hitting the fast forward button a lot…

So Entrails of a Virgin was a bit of a bust for us. There were some all right parts but mostly, a little too much with the soft-core porn for our tastes.

Why then did I decide to add Entrails of a Beautiful Woman to my Netflix queue? I have no idea. I guess I never learn.

Entrails of a Beautiful Woman is a sort of sequel to Entrails of a Virgin. There are actually three movies in the series; I believe the third is called Naked Blood (that one I WON’T be watching). The plot doesn’t really follow the plot of the first movie at all. Really they have nothing to do with each other beyond the titles. And the director. And weird monsters who like to do horrible, perverse things to people. And have really disturbing bits of anatomy.

Beautiful Woman begins in a factory where a Yakuza gang is holding a young girl captive. After being gang raped and drugged up, the girl escapes and finds her way to a female doctor. The girl tells the doctor who has attacked her and then swan dives off of the roof. The doctor tracks down the Yakuza members, there’s a bit of revenge, more rape, drugs, and then… a giant gooey monster? And possibly the most disturbing Alien reference I’ve ever seen.

Beautiful Woman is advertised as being about this monster. It’s not really. The monster shows up maybe fifteen minutes before the end of the movie. Up until that happens Beautiful Woman actually does have a real plot. That plot just happens to be an excuse to make a soft-core snuff film.

Why did I forget to hit the fast forward button??

There’s really nothing redeeming about Entrails of a Beautiful Woman. If you like this particular sub-genre you might want to check it out. Or if you’re hugely curious about the gooey entrails monster. Did I mention the monster is also a transforming transvestite? Don’t ask me how that one comes about. It’s really silly.

Beyond that though. I don’t even recommend watching it for the sake of completion. Mostly it’s just long and boring with a mediocre plot and soft-core sex. I know, talking about sex is probably just going to encourage a lot people. Geez, just download some porn. You don’t need to watch this movie.

There’s not even a point in talking about the direction or acting or anything else. That’s not what this movie is about. It’s about putting beautiful women in demeaning situations designed to excite the audience and then throwing in a few gross out moments to make people go “Ew.”

I just have to note here, that when I say go “Ew,” what I mean is this: it had me squeeing rather loudly. Saying things like “Holy S***”, “What the F*…”, “They are not…”, “EEEEEEEWWW”. My roommate and her boyfriend, who were in the other room with the door closed, were very amused.

Those “Ew” moments are effective, I’m forced to admit, but not worth the time it takes to get to them. So if you’re really curious and I can’t discourage you, hit it up on Netflix and keep your remote in hand. I recommend the x8 button at least.

The DVD actually does include an interview with Gaira, which was interesting for about five minutes before I got really bored by his self-congratulatory pretentious monologue. That had nothing to with Entrails of a Beautiful Woman.

At least at that point I had the presence of mind to hit stop.

Bijo no harawata
Entrails of a Beautiful Woman
1986
68 min
Japanese with English Subtitles

Review: Eastern Promises

Cross posted at Epinions.
On the surface Eastern Promises is a story about Midwife Anna (Naomi Watts), the dead Russian girl Tatiana (Sarah-Jeanne Labrosse, voice over by Tatiana Maslany), Russian mobster Kirill (Vincent Cassel), and his mysterious driver Nikolai (Viggo Mortensen). Tatiana is brought to Anna’s ward hemorrhaging, her baby in distress. Anna look’s into the girl’s purse to find identification and instead finds a small diary. As the infant Christine is gently brought to life, Tatiana slips away from it. In an effort to locate Tatiana’s family, Anna takes the diary to her Russian uncle for translation. She also ventures into a Russian restaurant whose business card was tucked away in the diary.

Sometimes the secrets of the dead are best buried with them.

Through Anna’s efforts to translate Tatiana’s diary, two worlds that were never meant to meet collide. Middle class, normal, London is exposed to the dark corruption of the Russian mob, the Vory V Zekone.

Anna who was never meant to meet Nikolai, never meant to know what secrets are hidden behind some doors, is exposed to a dangerous desire. Exactly what it is that Anna desires however is not a simple thing. This is not a simple answer of lust. Is it a desire for Nikolai, a man who exudes sexuality impossible for any woman to ignore (including the ones sitting in the theater)? Is it a maternal desire to protect the baby Christine?

It is a desire for all of the things Anna has longed for, the things that have remained just out of reach, the things that have slipped painfully through her fingers. Anna’s wide green eyes betray all of her thoughts, she is vulnerable yet strong, passionate, and every feeling she has is there in her eyes for Nikolai to see.

By contrast, who is Nikolai? Where has he come from? What is he trying to accomplish? Whose side is he on? Some of those questions are answered, some never are. While Anna keeps no secrets, secrets are all Nikolai has. The plot may not hold many surprises, there are many developments that are easy to see coming, but the story is layered and thick. While we are given one answer, supplied certain information, there are other more subtle points that remain ambiguous. We may eventually learn what exactly Nikolai’s goal is, but he still keeps his soul hidden from us. We are let in only so much.

Eastern Promises is on the surface a violent crime thriller about the Russian mob in London. However, like the currents of the Thames, Eastern Promises reveals secrets that were never meant to stay hidden. Nikolai hides a body in the river; David Cronenberg hides more behind the blood.

This is a film for adults. There is violence, there is blood, there is sex, there are drugs. These things are not there to exploit, they are not there to titillate. David Cronenberg has created a film for a mature audience who can watch a violent fight between three men in a bathhouse and see that there is a point for the inclusion Mortenson’s naked body. Cronenberg has never been afraid of the elements that offend, has never shied away from the things that make us uncomfortable. He instead embraces them. If something creates such a passionate response in an audience, if an exposed breast or a slit throat catches people’s notice, then their use can have a powerful effect.

Cronenberg has often explored the relationship between the media and sex and violence. Until recently, he has existed on the fringes of the mainstream. He was more of a cult figure. With the success of A History of Violence and his collaboration with Viggo Mortenson, Cronenberg has come fully into the mainstream of filmmaking. Whether the mainstream is ready to fully accept him… that I cannot tell you. I’m personally pleased to see films that are created for the intelligent, thinking, adult audience.

Why is Eastern Promises such a great film? It is because of the violence. It is because of the depth. It is also because of David Cronenberg’s complete awareness of his medium and the talent that he works with. Cronenberg's direction and Viggo Mortensen and Naomi Watts's performances are combined with Steve Knight's script, Peter Suschitzky's cinematography, and Howard Shore's score. From the story telling to the cinematography to the score, every element of Eastern Promises relates to the others. They all compliment when they need to compliment and contrast when contrast is needed. Light is juxtaposed with dark, quiet with noise, passion with passion, love with duty. Eastern Promises is about family, it is about destruction and rebirth, it is about the violence of death and how that violence can give way to new life.

Eastern Promises is a film that, if we want, we can sit back and process as we would any other movie. We can watch the images, see the surface, and go home satisfied. Eastern Promises is also a film that we can read. We can actually see what is on the screen in front of us; actually hear what the characters are saying. Cronenberg gives us a film that means something and invites us to discover what that meaning is.

There is an idea. There is passion. There is art.

Production: Having A Life

Or not having one, as the case may be. That's one of the things about this lifestyle, it can be so incredibly hard to balance life. Sometimes it's all work, sometimes it's all play. I feel like I haven't had a life outside of work in the last two months. Which I know that I have had a choice, there have been plenty of nights where people have asked me to do things. It's just that after working a fourteen hour day, going out for drinks with the ADs (Assistant Directors) is the last thing I want to do.

Sometimes though, life outside of work cannot be ignored. This last little bit has been almost completely about my non-professional life. Specifically, moving. That's right. Last weekend I moved from my apartment in Burbank to a little house down near the Marina.

Which brings us back to balance. In some ways this move doesn't make much sense in terms of work. While my apartment in Burbank wasn't convenient for much other than Warner Brothers or Universal, a lot of work happens on that side of the hill. Almost nothing goes on in the Marina. It is great if you're working in Culver City, at Culver Studios or Sony. I personally also think it's easier for anything on this side of the hill but that possibly is only personal opinion.

As much as we like to think so, life is not all about work. The balance here is finding a place where I want to live, where I will enjoy the little free time I have, where I won't go insane between jobs. Where I can bike to the beach... If you're going to live in California you may as well live by the beach, right? Right.

Production: Changing Toner

I spend a lot of my time playing with copy machines. Making copies, unjamming paper, dealing with staples, and adding toner.

I just finished adding toner to our machine and my hands were black. My nails still are.

Oh toner. Do you have any idea how many times I've found myself covered in toner? So so many. Hands, face, clothing. Head to toe. The worst are the toner cartridges like the one pictured above. No matter how careful you are, they make a mess. And if there happens to be a problem where the toner goes in, a broken copier, you're just screwed.

Yes, I have a toner story.

It was my first week on my first feature as a PA. I was attempting to make copies of script pages and the copier decided to give me an "Add Toner" message. I figured this was something I could handle, how hard could adding toner to copy machine be really? I could totally do this.

I ask the Production Secretary where the replacement toner is and I get to it. I pull out the cartridge, follow the instructions, so far so good. There is some shaking, some patting, and I'm ready to go.

Er, right.

I try to dump the toner into the machine. It doesn't seem to be going anywhere. You're supposed to be able to see the level of toner in the cartridge decrease. I see no such thing. So I'm thinking maybe it's emptied and I just don't know what I'm looking for.

Oh boy am I wrong. When I pulled that cartridge off of the copier... toner everywhere! Crap.

I clean up the mess and try it again. Still no luck but at least this time I know what to expect when pulling the cartridge off and manage to not make another mess.

Two goes and the copier is still out of toner. It's time to ask for help. The secretary joins me at the copier. The two of us together still can't get it to go but we at least manage to keep the mess to a minimum. Of course at this point, between my first spill and the subsequent failed attempts we've managed to waste about a quarter of the toner.

As the secretary and I are about to give up and call the maintanence guy, the APOC happens to walk by on the way to the restroom. He sees us struggling with the toner and decides that he can make it work where we have failed. Whatever. We step aside. The secretary returns to her desk to finish whatever she had been working on.

He goes through the shaking and patting and dumping. He has the cartridge on the copier, he starts to pull it away, I see what he's doing...

"Wait! That's going to spi..."

Toner. Everywhere.

He takes one look at the mess, looks up at me, laughs, and runs away.

"What the hell? I'm telling everyone you made this mess!"

He spares me one glance over his shoulder and grins.

"You go right ahead honey." And he disappears into the men's room.

I get to clean up the mess. At least ten people walk by and see me knee deep in toner.

"What did you do to the copy machine??" I get that question more than once.

"It wasn't me!"

Once the mess is cleaned up I call the service guys and make a sign warning people that the machine is out of service.

OUT OF SERVICE.
THE APOC EXPLODED THE TONER.
SERVICE COMING MONDAY.

Done and done.

Production: Climbing the Fence

First I must apologize for the lack of posts over the last week or so. As happens, when I'm working I just don't always have the time or energy for things like this blog. And in the case of last week, there were several things going on that made posting not happen.

That being said, on to a story. I love the stories that I have to share. Production work leads to some wacky, ridiculous situations that even those outside the production world can enjoy. Here's one of them.

I know I've mentioned several times that runs are a big part of my job as a PA. We go on a lot of runs for a lot of different things and the ones that I hate the most are the deliveries to people's homes. Finding residences is always a pain in the ass. Navigating neighborhoods, finding apartments, parking, it just takes forever and it's so incredibly easy to get lost. Plus half the time people live out in the middle of nowhere. As an APOC I worked with once put it, I don't want to drive to f*in Cartegena.

This particular run was a script delivery (we had revised script pages for the following day) to an actor's home. This particular actor happened to be out that evening at an Emmy dinner so the plan was to leave the envelope with the new pages at his door. He would get them whenever he got home and be able to prepare for the following day.

Good plan. Except.

I arrive at his apartment complex around 8 pm on a Saturday night. It's a completely gated complex. There is no guard, there are just lots of gates. And they are all locked.

Great.

My first thought is, well, maybe there's some sort of lobby area with mailboxes and I
could leave it there. I walk all around the complex. No luck. There's nothing.

My second thought is, well, maybe someone will come home and I can sneak through behind them. About five minutes go by and someone does indeed return home. I oh-so-stealthily walk up behind their car and get into the driveway area. However, the very clever designers of this particular complexforesaw the possibility of this sneakiness. The driveway area was completely separated from the rest of the complex. It got me to people's garages but nothing else.

I briefly contemplated climbing up the fire escape on the roof. But where would that have really gotten me? Other than on someone's roof...

Defeated, I left the driveway area and made my way back to the pedestrian gate. After staring at the gate hopelessly for around ten minutes, seconds away from admitting defeat and calling my boss, thought three occurred to me.

My third thought is, well, I could totally climb that fence.

Other than one jean ripping incident as a kid I've always been a pretty good fence climber.

Keys and cell phone safely secured in pockets, script clutched firmly in hand, I begin my ascent. It was actually a pretty easy fence and I made it to the half way point pretty quickly.

But of course this story can't end that easily. Before I start to climb over the top, I hear footsteps. Someone is approaching. Now that is exactly what I need. To be arrested for breaking and entering while trying to just deliver these stupid script pages.

I quickly climb down and hope that whoever it is that is approaching has maybe not seen me and that if they have that they are, pretty please, not a cop (I really didn't want to deal with even just a rent-a-cop. Not on my Saturday night!).

Through the shrubbery I see a little grey haired head making it's way towards me. It doesn't turn, it doesn't even pause, it just comes straight at the gate.

This guy is either leaving or he's definitely witnessed my fence climbing antics. With my luck I'm guessing he's seen me.

He walks up to the gate and stops. In an incredibly thick Russian accent he asks, "Oh, is the gate not working?"

Really?

"Um, actually, I'm just trying to make a delivery and the person I'm seeing isn't home."

"Oh, Okay, I can let you in."

And with that he opens the gate. And walks on his merry way.

I waste no time in delivering my script pages and getting out of there. It is a Saturday night after all. And at 9pm, the night is not over yet.

Production: Studios, Boredom, and Ambition

One of the coolest things about all of the runs I have to do is that I get to visit all of the studios. I've been on Warner Brothers, Universal, Sony, Fox, Paramount. I worked on the Universal lot for two weeks and yeah. Golf carts are awesome. Free tour of the backlot anyone?

Universal is huge. Sony is smaller, I've actually been able to walk rather than drive around there. There is a lot of construction going on there right now. It's craziness. Paramount and Fox I've seen less of. WB I like a lot. It's nice, it's easy to get around once you figure out where the buildings are, and it's pretty. I'm a fan of trees.

I still get a kick out of telling people that I get to work on the lots. It's neat.

There is the coolness of the lots. And then there is boredom. Oh boredom. Being a PA can be so incredibly boring sometimes. When there aren't runs to do or copies to make... there can be a lot of down time. I hate the boredom part of my job. It seems that with these last couple of shows I've worked on there has been a lot of the boring. I'm ready for something more exciting and challenging.

Which I will hopefully find soon. I'm ready to work on something bigger, something huge and crazy and complicated. I have a possibility. It's just all a matter of timing. And whether or not the coordinator liked me. But I will find out in a couple of weeks. Maybe then my problem of boredom will be solved.

Either way, I'm just about ready to not be a PA anymore. Which may sound like a weird thing to say. Because really, who ever wants to be a PA? Why would you want to be at the bottom?

Being a PA isn't all bad though. It's a great place to learn. I have learned an enormous amount about production these last eight months. Being in the production office is also a great way to meet everyone. I get to meet the heads of all of the departments, the producers, sometimes the director and writers, and even the talent. I get to see what everyone else does and that helps me to figure out what I want to do.

For example, I know I definitely do NOT want to be an AD (Assistant Director). That is one crazy stressed out department right there.

Meeting people opens doors. It gives you opportunities to work in different departments, people will recommend you for jobs, someone may even want to buy your script (ok, that's maybe not so likely. But stranger things have happened).

We've said it before and we'll say it again. It's all about who you know. That "who" can be anyone though, it doesn't have to be someone big and famous and powerful. It just has to be someone who maybe has another job coming up and likes you.

I've learned. I've met. Now I'm ready to grow. Make the move up. Get that promotion. Hopefully that will happen soon. One or two more PA jobs I can deal with. Beyond that, I think the boredom may actually drive me insane.

Not that I'm not already insane. I am trying to work in the film industry after all. Where's the sanity in that?

Production: How Networking can be a real pain in the buttoody

So, for all of you who have or are trying to get into the film buisness I'm sure you've heard the words "Networking is key." This always scares the shy at heart for we were never good at saying "hi" to someone just because they might be able to get us somewhere.
You try to think of it as making friends then. But that too can get tricky.
I know this girl who is trying to get into the camera department (don't read into this). Unfortunatly when ever she works on a show with a new crew someone in her department hits on her. This makes "networking" difficult. How are you supposed to keep in contact with the head of your department without him thinking you like his advances. She's told him she's with someone and she's told him she just wants to be friends but the advances keep coming. There is a potiental job for her coming up but she wont get it unless she keeps in contact with this prosuer. Poor girl. What is she to do.

Review: 3:10 To Yuma

Cross posted at Epinions



3:10. It’s the time the train to Yuma Prison arrives in Contention. The air is silent. The men are still. The guns are cocked. The clock is ticking. Praying won’t stop time. 3:10 is coming. Death may be coming with it.

3:10 To Yuma is remake of the 1957 Glenn Ford film and both versions are based on the story by Elmore Leonard. It is the story of gunman Ben Wade and rancher Dan Evans. Wade is caught after robbing a Pinkerton coach with his gang. Evans volunteers to join the posse escorting Wade to Contention. As they move closer to Contention and the 3:10 train, as Wade’s gang closes in on them, as they face a myriad of other difficulties in the wild west, it all comes down to a battle of wills between Wade and Evans. When it’s no longer about the money that will save Evans’s dying ranch, will Evans still make that walk to the train with Wade? When the guns are all pointed in his direction and death seems like the only option, will Evans still make his stand?

What makes a hero? Where is the line between right and wrong? When both sides are comprised of evil men, where do you make your stand? What do you fight for? What do you die for?

3:10 is about the battle of wills; it is about these two characters, men so different that they may actually be a bit the same. Russell Crowe is Ben Wade and Christian Bale is Dan Evans. If you’re not convinced to go see this movie right there, well, you should be. While I’m not always a fan of Crowe I think he is perfect for the Western genre. He has a roughness about him, that dangerous gleam in his eye. He belongs in the untamed, lawless lands, of the old west. He looks like a gunslinger. Christian Bale on the other hand is just brilliant. He is one of the best actors working today and I will see him in pretty much anything. Put the two of them together and nothing else matters. What you are going to see will be brilliant.

Not to say that it is going to be perfect. 3:10 To Yuma is not. There are a lot of problems with the film. I really was not a fan of the script for one thing. I don’t think it was very well written, there were a few plot elements that didn’t work for me, character development wasn’t great. The only thing that saves the story is the performances by the two lead actors. If it wasn’t for Crowe and Bale this would have been a mediocre film at best.

The other performances are all solid. Logan Lerman (The Butterfly Effect) is good as Dan’s son William. Ben Foster’s performance as Wade’s second in command, the psychopath Charlie Prince, is right up there with Crowe’s and Bale’s. Peter Fonda, Dallas Roberts, Alan Tudyk (Serenity), Gretchen Mol, and Kevin Durand are all solid as well. I think Mol, Lerman, and Benjamin Petry, who plays Dan’s younger son Mark, would have all benefited from better writing. As it is they’re all good. They just could have been better. The same goes for several of the other actors.

There is a tense moment when Wade and Evans have taken cover from gunfire. They crouch low together, catching their breaths. Evans is filthy and bleeding, Wade has been shot. Evans looks at Wade and tells him that he is not stubborn. He tries to explain to Wade why saving a small piece of dessert land is so important to him, what it means. Wade’s response? “Why are you telling me this?” Evans: “I don’t know.”

My point exactly. Why are we being told these things? A major flaw of this script is how much is just told to us through dialogue. I don’t want to be told about it, I want to see it. I want the story to evolve out of the visuals and the actions. I don’t want to be told who these men are. I want to discover who they are, I want to believe. Telling me story after sad story doesn’t help me get into a character’s head. His actions do that. It’s the bits that are unsaid that make a character into something more.

The cinematography and direction are not the best either. Director James Mangold and cinematographer Phedon Papamichael do not impress me. They did a great job working together on Walk The Line. However, for this film I don’t feel like they really grasped the needs of the story. I don’t really like a lot of the handheld, shaky camera work, especially during the beginning sequence. I found it to be incredibly distracting and off-putting. This improves as the film goes on but I don’t think the visuals are ever as good as they can be. There are a couple of explosions, one of which I definitely did not need. And as much shooting as there is, I almost wanted there to be more (more shooting but a little less gory blood. I like gore but here it felt unnecessary). Of course, that does go back to character development. At the end I did understand what they were going for but I’m still not sure I like how they went about it.

I did really enjoy the music though. The score by Marcos Beltrami is fantastic. It’s the kind of music you want to hear in a western. It complements the action and sets the tone. It just fits.

As a fan of westerns, especially Clint Eastwood’s, there was no way I was not going to see this movie. Especially with it’s cast. While I do think it could have been better, in the end I am happy with it. Again, that is almost completely due to Russell Crowe and Christian Bale. I’ve been a fan of Crowe in the western genre ever since Sam Raimi’s Quick and The Dead. I’ve been a fan of Christian Bale since I was a kid watching Newsies. Seeing them together is an absolute pleasure. 3:10 To Yuma is worth it for that alone.

Production: Saying No (and Speaking Too Soon)

Sometimes you just have to say "No."

It just sucks when you have to say "No" to a job offer. Especially when you don't necessarily have another job.

Yesterday I recieved a call from an APOC (Assistant Production Office Coordinator) about a job. Unfortunately, they needed someone to start today. I don't finish this pilot until tomorrow. You're probably thinking, "but you gave up almost a month's worth of work for two days??" Yes, yes I did. Even if it would have meant working for another few weeks, I have an obligation to my current production. I started here with the understanding that I would work until we wrap. We don't wrap until tomorrow so I am obligated to work here until tomorrow.

Sure, my coordinator may have understood (I'm actually sure she would have), but leaving a job early is just bad form. It is not a habit you want to get into. And leaving with no notice, that's just not cool. I mean, sometimes a better opportunity comes up and you would be insane not to take it. There is a correct way to go about that though. And given a decent amount of notice is key.

Getting called at 4 pm to start the next morning... that's not really enough time to give proper notice. It's just unfortunate that they couldn't have waited until Monday. I easily could have started on Monday.

In a case like this, I just have to suck it up and figure that it wasn't meant to be. It sucks but what can you do? I like the people I'm working with, I might like to work with them again, and I don't want to be a jerk. Especially two days before we finish.

Oh well. Maybe I'll get a job on the new GI Joe movie they're making instead.

[Edit] Only hours after writing this post, I get a call back from the Coordinator. Apparently they decided they could wait until next week after all. I start with them on Tuesday. How excited am I? Oh very. And bonus, a crew member I was just working with on this pilot will be on this next feature as well. He's an awesome guy and I'm really looking forward to seeing him around set again. You really can speak too soon.

Thoughts: Here On Earth

I hate this movie. Absolutely, completely, totally HATE this movie. Normally, it's not the type of movie I would bother with. I am not a fan of the melodramatic teen drama romances. But I took a chance on this one because of the cast. Leelee Sobiesky, Chris Klein, Josh Hartnett. Especially Josh Hartnett. Have I mentioned my Josh Hartnett obsession yet? I'm a little bit in love, have been since... The Faculty. High School. Some crushes die hard.

Anyway, I watched it for the cast. I really wish I hadn't.

What's so bad about it? The script. The acting (even good actors can give poor performances). The cheesy direction. The bad music. The lame plot. The fact that it just never makes me care. About any of it. And the melodramatic, overly emotional, ending.

It's all about making the audience cry, but why should we shed tears for people we don't care about?

Whatever. Don't watch it. Please.